Poking Fun At Personal Ads :: essays research papers

To the SWF with a PhDBasically, Im a nervous person. Ill tell you now that Ive never had a date, but I just know that we were meant to be. The things you look for, slim build, knowledge of the Wicca religion, and the ability to differentiate between Van Gogh and Picasso describe me to a tee. I cant wait until our wedding day, which should be soon because Im nearly oer two hills. Did I mention that Im a nervous person?Concerning the line of your ad stating Slim build is a great depiction of a mans true character, well, I may not actually fit that request. I agree that a slim build is loving however, I know of many fat people that have great personalities. Im not saying that Im fat, rather loggerheaded or big-boned. The problem is that I dont hide my weight well. Actually, the truth is I look like a wildebeest covered in plaid and khaki. I have more fur on my back than all eleven of your precious Persians. To top things off, I have an inexplicable feeling that creeps out no matter how much cologne I bath in.What I lack in the looks department, I certainly make up for by my knowledge of witchcraft. Ive realized something about you smart chicks you always have some fanatical beliefs that are sure to be contested (womens suffrage, for example). Ive got this one though Ive seen every movie ever made concerning witchcraft Hocus Pocus, The Craft, and best of all, The Wizard of Oz. I have also memorized portions of becharm for our first date. Can you really turn Samantha into a dog by wrinkling your nose? Ive always wondered that. As my hero, the Wicked Witch of the West would say, Ill get you my pretty, and your eleven Persians, too. I hope you also like a guy with a sense of humor.As for the differentiation between Picasso and Van Gogh, Ill be completely forward with you I have no clue who those people are. I ran upstairs and asked my mom who Picasso was and she told me that its the name of a cat I had when I was five. If Van Gogh is another cats name, Picasso w as cross-eyed, bob-tailed, and could never find the litter box. Ive done it. Ive successfully filled your requirements in a man.I feel that we have connected on some level.